How not to bath a toddler


After work last night I couldn’t cope with the thought of my own personal hygiene, never mind the great adventure of bathing Reuben. So I left it until this morning when I would be on my top mothering game. I successfully bathed him, dressed him, sang a rendition of ‘Row, row, row, your boat’, and it only took 53 minutes...53 flipping minutes. Then I leaned over to pull the plug out with Reuben in my arm.
Parenting skills – 1/10.
I just stood back looking at him and thought “Yep I’m done, I am so done with motherhood”.
Reuben will probably never get a bath again but here are a couple of pointers I have learned from bath time.

  1. Be prepared – it sounds obvious but so many times I’ve forgotten to take a nappy or a vest to the bathroom and when I return my bathroom looks like an aquarium with a big Reuben fish shamelessly flapping about in the water.
  2. Towels. Lots of Towels.
  3. Play with the little one – It seems like a good opportunity to run off and fold some clothes or check Facebook. One time I even took a novel to the bathroom thinking I could sit on the floor and read. How naïve. Bath time will be much smoother and faster if you join your child and play with the rubber ducks. Some people enjoy this. To be honest id rather the novel.
  4. Bathing in the sink is no longer an option
  5. Make it last as long as possible. Tire them out. Heck, leave them in there 5 days if it means you get a good night’s sleep.
  6. For the love of God drain the water as soon as you lift them out.

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